You are more than you think you are

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain

I know  you are more than you think you are however,  I’ll wager that rather than recognise this, you are instead beating yourself up on a daily basis. In fact, no one can put you down better than you can. I know you will probably have your own negative ‘ear worm’ telling you on a regular basis telling you that

  • You’re stupid
  • You’re are always making mistakes
  • You’re so clumsy
  • You’re so thick

Do you recognise all or any of the above? I know I do.

We have all been there and have moments of self-doubt, and bad days. Pressure from our family, friends, work colleagues, and society in general often makes us feel inadequate.

We begin to feel that we are not good enough, because we haven’t, according to others, got the right job or lifestyle, or the best house or that our partner is not right for us.

As a survivor of sexual abuse, I am positive your story will be similar and distressingly familiar as my own and that of other survivors.You will have been made to feel ashamed, guilty, and inadequate. Well! That’s great. Woops!

I hear a collective gasp, great, what does she mean? Well look at it this way, you have been down as far as you can go, so you can’t go down any further. I know what it’s like to be down as you might be now, but like I said, the only way is up, so it’s a great place to START and begin to thrive and grow into the ‘unique, powerful and magnificent person’ you were born to be.

So here’s the thing

You are more than you think you are. Did you realise that the most loving, generous individuals have known defeat, sadness, shame, guilt, and inadequacy, just as you have? Despite this, they have managed to find their way out of their despair and loneliness, and you can too.

Because of your own life journey towards recover I am sure that you have experienced many different emotions in your past.

I am sure that you have acquired an appreciation, and sensitivity to the feelings of others alongside an understanding of life in general on your journey forward.

I am also sure that you have gained an immense wisdom and compassion for others. You were not born this way and it is my, belief that you are on your way, to becoming the unique, powerful and magnificent you I know you can be.

Sing who me?

Ella Fitzgerald quote

I remember when I was young being in a choir. My sister was getting a medal, and I overheard my mother telling the vicar, “You had better give Margaret a medal too. I know she can’t sing, but she will be upset and jealous.”

Well that put me off singing because I really believed that I couldn’t sing and, of course, I was never jealous of my sister. Unfortunately back then I chose to believe everything that I overheard because I didn’t know any better.

Now I sing at the top of my voice when and wherever I want and simply think, “Up yours” Singing is just one of my ploys to get me through when I start thinking I am not good enough I also begin to change my negative thoughts to more positive ones, and you can do the same, it makes such a difference.

So then what can you do to help yourself?

Anything that make you feel good, feel better is helpful. It’s important to choose something that you are interested in and love to do. So if you need some help when you are feeling “not good enough, stupid or thick”.

7 useful tips to remind yourself how magnificent you are

  1. Begin by telling yourself “I am good enough, I don’t need to try and be like someone else, I am fine just the way I am”.
  2. Tell yourself this too will pass, when you have had a bad day, if you have had a setback, or if someone says your living in a dream world, it’s not going to happen.
  3. Tell yourself, “I don’t need external validation to feel good, I will learn to love myself. I will learn to dance to the beat of my own drum.”
  4. Time is precious so spend time doing what you want, enjoy being with people you like being with and who like you.
  5. Say out loud “I am going to live my life with passion, purpose and love”.
  6. Take responsibility and be accountable for your own actions, you are not a child anymore, you are an adult and in charge of what you think and how you act.
  7. Should a problem arise consider it and own up, learn from it, forgive yourself and move on.

These are some of my tips, now it’s time to find a few of your own, what do you think? So are you are more than you think you are? YES! I would definitely say you are.

Maggie Irwin Portrait

Hi! I’m Maggie and as a Hypnotherapist, Master Practitioner of NLP, Mental Health and Wellbeing Professional with 35 yrs experience in the NHS and private sector, I’m here to help you release the past, recover your courage and design your most magnificent life.

Learn more about me here.