Freedom from Fear Today

So can we truly be free from fear today?

After all we have all been frightened at some time in our lives, however, some of us have managed to free ourselves, of fear although others are still prisons of the fear created within themselves.

Les Brown, one of my hero’s uses his own life’s story to motivate and inspire others in his speaking engagements and he often quotes fear as;

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

I am inclined be biased where Les is concerned and I definitely support this statement, as it is ourselves that conjured up the fear within.

We actually create our own fear monster inside us and we continue to feed it until it becomes so big we lose control and eventually become more and more frightened of something that we created that isn’t actually real.

What’s that about?

So how can we let go of fear and gain freedom Today?

Here’s the thing we can if we choose to immerse ourselves fully in the experience of fear and yes! I do know it is and can be frightening.

Take your power back become a super hero or may be like me, give it a name become its friend “I call my fear Brian and see him as a cartoon figure”which creases me when I think of him and then I no longer feel scared.

You too can become friends or work beside it in fact tell it it is got a new manager and now see who is scared.

You may already be aware that since the time of the caveman fear has been a natural response to physical danger known as the ‘Fight or flight response’.

Caveman & Tiger cartoon

Fear can be instantaneous which is probably a good thing when a ‘saber-tooth tiger’ eyeing you up for lunch.

The great thing is though there are no ‘saber-tooth tigers’ left in Barnsley today, except for my ex who did frighten me then because it was real then but not now.

Fear can save our lives although it can often also lead to total chaos, besides it being a natural response to physical danger as humans we can also create our own fears around:

  • Being alone
  • Being lonely
  • Scared of death
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of our past or the future
  • Being different, having no friends
  • Fear of trusting yourself and others
  • Fear that others won’t or don’t like me?
  • Fear of asking for what we want or need
  • Fear of not having enough or being enough
  • Fear of love, sharing our thoughts and feeling of being rejected

Like me I know you will have experienced many of the above insecurities and self – doubts although when we truly look at most of the evidence we can actually see how some of the fear that we create within us can be;

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Yes! I know that it may be real for you now because something may be happening to you right now to make you feel frightened and you may be feeling stressed and beginning to panic and yes that’s real.

Sometimes though we can worry ourselves into an anxiety state becoming depressed or paranoid about our past and we can also very often become apprehensive about our future however, our past and indeed the future are not really a reality as neither of them is happening now.

Fear has no real basis it simply develops when our ego – self-feels intimidated this then leads to the maintenance of the familiar and known and is an immediate response which stops us in our tracks.

Fear trigger our defence mechanism which may mean that we literally shut down in order to protect ourselves and it may then become the mantel we wear.

Fear can also take away our power and magnificence, keeping us a prisoner, emotionally frozen as I was it left me feeling unable to move forward in my life.

The fear I created within myself

Because of the fear around the abuse I experienced and its aftermath I couldn’t give love freely or feel love, trust others and I lost my spontaneity and believe in others.

I began eventually to internalise the anger I was carrying, hiding away, closing down, resisting close contact and I lived in the fear of embracing life to the full.

I have struggled most of my life worrying about what my family, friends and others would think about me if they knew who I really was. I was scared of speaking my truth and of others reactions and their opinions of me.

Oh my God! I am beginning to sound like a stalker because yes!

Here is another quote from Les who says,

Les Brown: "Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your own reality"

I have now chosen to let go of my fear and decide to believe I am more than what happened to me. Through being able to let go, I have assisted myself in my own life’s journey and in my work with others. I truly believe you too can choose freedom from fear for yourself here today and I offer you;

Seven Top Tips That May Help You Let Go Of The Fear You Are Still Carrying Within Yourself

1 – Talk

Talk to your partner, a friend or another family member, talking about a fear diminishes its power. If you find that the fear is still there see your GP. GP’s can refer you for a course of Cognitive Behavior Therapy Counselling, psychotherapy or direct you to an online service like Fear Fighter.

2 – Timeout and distraction techniques

If you are anxious and your heart is pounding, you find yourself sweating, panicking becoming increasingly confused as a result of adrenaline take some time out to calm down and physically relax. Go for a walk, make a cup of tea, have a bath, phone a friend, listen to some soothing music, dance watch a funny film.

3 – Face the fear

Worrying and avoiding fear helps it to become more powerful and scarier. If you panic after falling off a bike, it’s best to get on the bike and begin by taking a short bike ride. The more you get back on the bike and the longer journey you make the fear will disperse. So whatever the fear is, challenge it, and face it and its power will so eventually disappear.

4 – Getting real

The fear you build up in your head can be worse than its reality. One of my fears is public speaking however, I know that when I am actually up there doing it, it’s not as bad as I imagined and people are so supportive. So explore the reality of what your fear, look at the evidence around your fear and challenge it, do your research it’s not as bad as you fear it to be.

5 – Perfection what’s that about?

Unfortunately if your perfect ‘there is no room for improvement’ if you are thinking a black and white thinking person i.e. “If my house is not cleaned top to bottom every day I am a failure” or “If I can’t get my head round this designing lark, my whole life will fall apart”.

Black and white thinking simply sets up unrealistic expectations which in turn sets you up to becoming anxious. In reality life in general is full of stressors however, many of us feel our lives should be perfect. Setbacks and bad days can happen and lives do get messy.

6 – Say hello and welcome

Look at what is the worst thing that can happen panic of looking like a fool, fainting, it might be your fear of a heart attack. If you try and think yourself into having a heart attack it’s not possible, it can’t happen. The more you face your fear say hello and welcome it,  it will become bored as it has no control and eventually leave, each time you face your fear, shake its hand it becomes easier to cope with it.

7 – Utilising visualisation

Close your eyes, take some time out to imagine a place of calm and safety – it might be a lovely place such as a beach, a happy memory, feeling nice and snuggly having a duvet day, thinking of your pet or someone who makes you feel happy and safe. Simply let those lovely positive feelings soothe you until you feel more and more relaxed.

So yes! I believe we can let go of fear and gain our freedom today!

Remember these are only suggestions and I am aware of how magnificent, brave and courageous you are and yes! I believe you can face your fear and live in freedom its your choice, letting go of fear however is very hard and it is a deeply personal decision. Either way you decide to go, it has to be right decision for you.

On a personal level I am finding facing my fears have helped me enormously in finding peace within myself and in being able to move forward while helping others on their journey forward.

While I have included Les Brown in this blog several times there have also been a lot of other truly inspirational people who have  helped me on my journey forward. Dear friends, colleagues and more importantly my clients who’s own life stories are truly inspiring thanks for sharing them, you know who you are. You are all wonderful loving, inspirational, powerful and magnificent human beings.

Maggie Irwin Portrait

Hi! I’m Maggie and as a Hypnotherapist, Master Practitioner of NLP, Mental Health and Wellbeing Professional with 35 yrs experience in the NHS and private sector, I’m here to help you release the past, recover your courage and design your most magnificent life.

Learn more about me here.