10 Tips to Think Positively (when all you really want to do is eat ice cream in your PJs and watch Jerry Springer)
Many years ago I found myself going through a bad time in my relationship.
My suspicions that my partner was emotionally distancing himself were proven correct when one afternoon, after returning from work early I was greeted with a sight I’ll never forget:
There he was, having the time of his life, bum in the air, with a big fat bird in our bed.
I hardly need to tell you what happened next do I?
I hit the depression trail. Big Time.
I cried, slept, didn’t bother getting dressed, and instead laid about all day in my pyjamas, stuffing my face, while sitting watching Jerry Springer, in an effort to feel better about myself and my life.
I lost my confidence. I felt guilty, I convinced myself it was my fault and as a result my self-esteem hit rock bottom.
Needless to say this well seasoned tactic of “retreat and EAT” did nothing to improve my mood and instead made me painfully aware of how I too was now becoming one of those “big fat birds” I’d come to resent so much.
Trust me, the irony was not wasted on me.
After many weeks of continuing this way, I eventually realised I had two choices up ahead:
- I could either stay that ‘big fat ugly bird from Barnsley’ who was marinating herself in poisonous self-talk or
- I could find a way to deal with it and leave that loser behind.
On the spot I made the decision to believe that I was worth more than the dregs of someones affection, and that I deserved better (and so do you, you magnificent thing).
So I set to the monumental task of tackling my despair by adopting a positive mental attitude and attempting to just “think” myself happy again.
How’d that go, I hear you ask?
Well, not so well initially.
You see, in the midst of this emotional nightmare, whenever I found myself faced with a choice of “panic and convince yourself the world is coming to an end” and “think about the positive and be grateful for what you have” I resorted to the former with a side dish of “Arghhhhh I can’t get the sight of that white spotty bum out my mind!!!!”.
Evidently there was more to this “just think positively” lark that initially meets the eye. After all, if it were so bloomin’ easy, we’d all be doing it, right?
So like everything else in my life, I had to add a dash of humour to the mix.
That’s when I came across this quote:
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes” – William Gibson.
I joked about the event with my friends, we laughed about it, reframed it, and with the odd glass (bottle) of wine and the benefit of hindsight I came to realise that his behaviour meant nothing about me and was more a reflection of his “stuff”.
Oh how wise you can be after a bottle of vino!
Out with the old, in with the new.
Eventually, through sheer determination and incorporating some new daily & weekly habits into my routine I found it easier and easier to break the bonds of the negative internal dialogue and instead make happiness a choice and to see things in a better light.
I threw myself into new ventures – I went running with my friends, (RUN FORREST RUN!!!)I took up Yoga, I committed myself to furthering my professional training and developing my business… In short, I kept myself busy (and perhaps more specifically, off the sofa).
I kept up the habit until it became the norm for me, I found it was important for me to make an effort, as eventually the habit lead me to cultivate a happier outlook in my life & become more enthusiastic, dynamic and confident.
10 Top Tips to develop your positive mental attitude.
During this time I learnt a number of different ways to turn positive thinking into a habit rather than an aspiration so without further ado, here are my top ten tips for developing a positive mental attitude, (even when all you want to do is eat ice cream in your PJs and watch Jerry Springer on repeat).
1) Become an early bird:
Set your clock to wake up early create the habit to help you maintain a positive attitude. Getting up early helps you to start your day without feeling rushed. Taking time to prepare for your day, this gives you the chance to think, create space in your day and take some time for yourself while the rest of the world sleeps.
2) Get moving!
Physical activity, even light exercise regularly result in the release of positive endorphins which are natures feel good chemicals.
3) Stand tall:
When walking or standing, imagine you have a piece of string from your feet through to the top of your head pulling you up standing tall, this will help you to feel confident powerful and magnificent.
4) Sit up straight:
When sitting, sit with a straight spine with your shoulders back breath in confidence and optimism.
5) Be the creator, not a victim:
It is important to take responsibility for your own thoughts behaviour, actions, activities and emotional state. You have the power to control your own life experiences and the results that you create. By taking control of your life offers you the freedom and opportunity. You can choose to be happy or bad-tempered it’s your choice.
6) STOP saying “I can’t”:
7) Be the boss of you:
Take action by creating positive and realistic expectations that are yours, STOP being a people pleaser. STOP giving away your power and magnificence. STOP trying to live up to other expectations of you it is not your reality. Believe that you deserve and expect the best in life from yourself and others.
8) Mind your company:
Dump negative people that surround you as they only pull you down. Seek out positive people who support you and cheer you on. Positive people will help you see your value while assisting you in moving forward and in becoming powerful and magnificent.
9) Make self-care a priority:
Remember to take care and be kind to yourself while developing your positive mental attitude. Enjoy meeting a good friend for lunch or a coffee, read, listen to some music something that you enjoy helps to develop and regulate your positive mental attitude.
10) Trust & Believe.
If you expect great things to happen then they will, believe in your success, your happiness, believe in “what you put out there you get back” . Think positive you become positive, think negative you get negative.
Resources to help with positive thinking and in cultivating a positive attitude.
Learn how to Think Positively Hypnotherapy DVD by Glen Harrold, get it from Amazon here.
You need to believe in your dreams and goals.
Go for them – after all you’re so much more than you think you are. You are a powerful and magnificent human being.
Hi! I’m Maggie and as a Hypnotherapist, Master Practitioner of NLP, Mental Health and Wellbeing Professional with 35 yrs experience in the NHS and private sector, I’m here to help you release the past, recover your courage and design your most magnificent life.